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About the product A book for everyone who has to deal with toxic people. You will learn to build communication according to your own rules and will not allow yourself to be manipulated. When Shahida Arabi’s article “20 Distractions That Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths Use to Manipulate You and Gag You” went online, it was read by over 18 million people worldwide. Victims of manipulators and mental health professionals alike enthusiastically shared and acknowledged it. Unfortunately, none of us is immune from dealing with toxic people, which may be colleagues, family partners, or even parents. At the same time, you may be persuaded that you are overreacting, inflating an elephant out of a fly, and using other tactics of psychological manipulation. Manipulators can be soft and aggressive. Toxicity can manifest itself in a variety of ways. However, the most important life skill that you need to develop in yourself is the willingness to fight back any manipulator and all possible manifestations of toxicity in a relationship. In this guide, you will find a theoretical framework and practical exercises that will help you: — identify toxic people and choose effective ways to interact with them; — learn to recognize the first signs that someone is trying to manipulate you, and immediately suppress common types of psychological abuse, such as gaslighting, ignoring, projecting, «love bombing» and so on; — learn how to recover from a trauma in a relationship and form healthy personal boundaries based on the inner self. This is one of the most useful books for people who want to better understand themselves and live a happy and relaxed life without toxic communication and manipulation. Who is this book for Anyone who wants to learn to immediately recognize manipulators and resist toxic communication. For people who want to get out of traumatic relationships, build personal boundaries and live healthy lives without manipulation. For those who need help recovering from psychological abuse. From the Author As the author of many articles and books on self-help, I have corresponded with thousands of survivors of psychological abuse. I have learned that toxic people can easily convince their victims that they are paranoid or «overreacting» while being manipulated. If you find yourself periodically trapped in toxic relationships, know that you are not alone. While you can be vulnerable prey to emotional predators, you also have strengths in being able to figure out toxic people, build solid boundaries, and vigorously combat their manipulation. The secret is to tune in to the right wave and listen to your inner voice. This book aims to help you shift your focus to caring for yourself, building boundaries, and protecting yourself. I will share with you not only my life lessons, but also the experiences of thousands of victims of psychological abuse, as well as the opinions of many experts with whom I talked to collect informed recommendations to help you more effectively interact with toxic people. This book is not a substitute for psychotherapy. These self-help guidelines can only complement your path to self-esteem, healing, and personal boundaries. Use what works for you and adapt these tips to suit your situation. I hope that the information received will help you learn to hear yourself and skillfully build tactics for interacting with toxic people. Quotes from Target for Manipulators Toxic characters and narcissists can easily convince highly empathic and conscientious people that they are paranoid or «overreacting» when they are being manipulated. These sensitive people are often targeted: they can be made to doubt themselves. An Important Skill Aggressive manipulators have hard-coded behaviors that are unlikely to ever change, whereas soft manipulators may be more susceptible to change and setting personal boundaries. Toxicity can manifest itself in different ways, but the most important life skill is the willingness to fight back all its possible manifestations. Healthy Boundaries As you build healthy boundaries, you will gradually realize that you don’t have to correct someone’s flaws or teach someone the basics of human decency. You are not a parent or a therapist to them, although you have undoubtedly been quite generous to people who did not deserve your help. Rule of Three If a person does something wrong for the third time, break up the relationship. Following this rule early on in meeting people will save you pain and keep you from investing in unworthy people in the long run. It’s also a good way to avoid interacting with wolves in sheep’s clothing, which hide their predatory nature. Your Superpower It may be that society has convinced you that sensitivity is a weakness, but it may also be your greatest strength. This is your internal alarm and shield that is triggered in case of danger. The secret is to tune in to the right wave and listen to your inner voice. Controlling Your Opinion: Gaslighting can take an extreme form when used to portray an abuser as a victim, which often happens in a violent situation. If a toxic person cannot control you, they often resort to controlling opinion about you by spreading slander and incriminating rumors. …
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